Barry Comden, DD's fourth husband dead at 74

[webmaster]

he-he

I think I'd like to go watching "Send Me No Flowers" with a whiskey, a big fat cigar and a shot of heroin!
(all compulsory for family and friends of course! )

[TCMMovieFan]

I am truly sorry that this marriage did not work out for Doris. I can see how happy and radiant she looks in her wedding picture. She had left show business for Carmel and it looked as if she was attempting to finally find some true happiness in her life and its sad that it did not work out for her.

[TCMMovieFan]

Webmaster - sorry but I shan't be providing any heroin or drugs of any kind.
For those you will have to go elsewhere !

[webmaster]

Well that was along time ago - but I think I have a slight addiction to Doris still.

[Jas1]

TCM... have you seen Doris' wedding photos to Barry? I don't believe i have. I read she wore a biege pant suit. I think some people get confused thinking the picture of them both (with Doris in the velvet jacket) was the wedding pic, and I don't believe it was - Howard? Paul? J Michael? Lauren? Mary Anne?

[howard]

Don't think I've ever seen their wedding photos. She was married in a private ceremony held in Carmel.

[Lauren Benjamin]

I agree with Howard. I have never seen wedding photos. The photos that I've seen were taken, I think, during her book tour and they were in NYC.

Lauren

[paul]

I've never seen any wedding pictures either. I think because it was a private ceremony that they deliberately kept it out of the press. There were pictures taken in NYC when "Her Own Story" was released and those were widely circulated at the time and some of the captions read "Doris Day and her new husband pose happily for photographers..." but these were not taken at the wedding.

[TCMMovieFan]

Doris has indeed brought much joy to the hurting world around her, thats for sure. Animals as well as people.Doris Mary Anne is one very special lady. A ray of sunshine in a dark world...

I am truly sorry she never found the wonderful marriage she was seeking !!! However, such a task is never easy and it has nothing to do with being a major star either.
So many marriages these days come and go.

[doris-day-fan]

Doris once made a comment, "I had great taste in men, but terrible taste in husbands." Seems to be true in her case, however, I honestly think that she loved Rock and he loved her - they had chemistry both on and off camera - why didn't she marry him? They appreciated one another which I doubt was lacking in the 4 husbands...she made the world happy, but never had the true happiness she so much deserved.

Mary Anne

[Lauren Benjamin]

She didn't marry Rock because she was married to Marty and because it was a well-known fact that Rock was a homosexual. To say anything else is like trying to grow posies in a coal field. It doesn't make sense.

Lauren

[doris-day-fan]

So what if Rock was gay or "bi"....Hollywood lives by a different set of rules and wife swapping, husband swapping, etc. is no big deal...we all know married men are not off limits -in Hollywood, that is. Oh well, que sera, sera...I still think Doris and Rock would have made a lovely couple and both would be happy.

Mary Anne

[TCMMovieFan]

I've never seen any wedding pictures either. I think because it was a private ceremony that they deliberately kept it out of the press. There were pictures taken in NYC when "Her Own Story" was released and those were widely circulated at the time and some of the captions read "Doris Day and her new husband pose happily for photographers..." but these were not taken at the wedding.

I must stand corrected. What I saw was not a 'wedding picture' per se. This is going back years ago. When Doris wed Mr. Comden----there was photograph that circulated of the couple. Doris was holding some sort of a flower and was smiling radiantly.
In my newspaper -- there was that photo announcing her marriage and a brief caption underneath---probably no longer than 2-3 sentences at most. The brief item was buried in the backpages of my paper.

[TCMMovieFan]

Well I don't think it would have been easy for Doris to find the right mate in life. She started out in the big band business so the people she met were almost entirely from the business. Her first two spouses were both musicians and the third - an agent.
In the 40's - she was often 'on the road' - first with the Bob Crosby and then the Les Brown Bands. It is not a stable type of lifestyle and there is really not much time for reflection and for making well-thought out decisions regarding relationships and marriages, et al.
Then when she truly hit the 'big time' - it became even more difficult. She went from project to project and she was also working under the 'movie studio system' at WB --- she dated other actors so there really were not any good opportunities to establish a truly meaningful relationship.
She picked the 'wrong guys' because those are the types of people that she met ! Period ! It was the nature of the business. She met the people from her profession so that fact did limit her options.
Let's face it -- how many 'show biz' marriages have truly endured ?! There have been some of course but too many ! Virginia Mayo was married to Michael O'Shea -- her only spouse - till his passing. She never married again. JImmy Stewart. Karl Malden. Charles Boyer. Louis Jourdan. Kirk Douglas has been married to the same wife for many years now though this is his second marriage. The Alice Faye-Phil Harris union endured. I can't remember the other ones at present.

[Pettles]

Some things in life don't work out the way we want them to. For Doris, perhaps, that is not finding "the" person she might have been searching for her one marriage for life.

Notice how we've never heard Doris mention her misgivings about Barry, or even her other husband - well, that took a book to do.

Might be a great time for Doris to write another book in her own words.

Doris is great at going forward, which is how people did things - no questions asked, just move forward to the next day.

On reflecting on what I know of Doris' life I can only say that her pains draw me closer to her and appreciating her "forward outlook" even more.

What a lady this woman is - plain and simply, quite a gal.

[TCMMovieFan]

Might be a great time for Doris to write another book in her own words.



What a lady this woman is - plain and simply, quite a gal.

She certainly is quite a gal !

I am not so certain however that she would want to write another book at this stage in her life.......she gave up giving interviews to the media a long time ago and her only communications these days involves either her Animal Foundation, reading and responding to fan mail, and calling in on the radio and keeping in touch utilizing that method of forum which is great way in maintaining one's presence before the public without having to be scrutinized and cross-examined as is usually the case these days....when one considers her chronological age...she was born in 1922 after all....it is stunningly amazing that she still does this much when the few stars from her era are either deceased or have lapsed into stone silence.
Doris' book MY OWN STORY was a rather painful project for her........she had to relive the problems with her Dad, her abusive first marriage, the financial mess left to her by Marty Melcher, and all she had gone through in her life.....notice that after the book was published and she did the obligatory book tour she sort of became very low-key and only reemerged with her Animal Show in the 1980's and did some recording work once again but after that her appearances became more infrequent and she only turned up sporadically.
The fact remains that for the better majority of her life....she was before the public since her teen years....and her career had a very long shelf life when once considers how many people come and go with great rapidity in the entertainment world and fame can be fleetingly fickle.
After all is said and done......I think the quality of her work which is wide and vast says it more effectively than any autobiography can ever accomplish........personally I think her work should speak for itself !

[suzie]

I do think that Doris had a pretty good marriage to Melcher. Yes he lost all of their money and yes he was far from perfect...but I must say that there were many years of joy and happiness in that marriage . Was the marriage perfect NO. I do think that they enjoyed many activities togeather..both had alot of energy and both smiled alot and enjoyed life. marty enjoyed Doris being a VERY big star ( not just for the money ) but because he was very proud of his wife.
Many men hate it when their wife is a huge success, they get jelious and go and sit in a corner and pout ....but not Melcher he waded right into the thick of them and let the whole world know that the Melchers were just that "a team " and when people complimented his wife he was proud . When people put his wife or her work down then he was mad . They were a team . They loved each other . Doris was at his side when he was so ill and Marty sang hyms to her when she was ill . Through thick and thin they were very close. Perfect No...but then who has a perfect marrigae ? In show biz you can magnifiy the difficulty by a million , so considering that they did a pretty good job at being Mr. and Mrs martin Melcher.
Doris marrigae to Barry Comden was a "fun while it lasted " relationship...but I think Melcher was the real deal with her.

[anialek36]

Certainly it was a good marriage Doris and Melcher... Let's agree ideals is not. Of course there are exceptions like everywhere: Meryl Streep and Don Gummer, Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman. Doris has a great strength, so much in my life had passed, but did not give up and still smiling. Many people would have collapsed, fell into depression or something worse, but not Doris. She is great Doris shows others that you can not give up, you have to go ahead, despite adversity, It is for me, but I think for many people an example of how to live with dignity and not give up
Besides, women are mentally stronger than men I love her for everything he does and has done so far


Agree of suzie

[luckyme123]

sad he had to go so soon. we dont know what life holds for us. have faith and love one another we love them let god judge them.hope all of this forum is healthy and happy. we got DORIS THATS A GREAT REASON TO BE HAPPY

[Westwood]

I do think that Doris had a pretty good marriage to Melcher. Yes he lost all of their money and yes he was far from perfect...but I must say that there were many years of joy and happiness in that marriage . Was the marriage perfect NO.

You are forgetting that all the while he was betraying his wife financially all along. Sounds to me like a complete phoney. You can pretend all you want but if you had a great marriage and he dies and you find out what he's done behind your back, you think you can separate the fake good times you had from the bad things he did behind your back?

I think Doris could have married Rock. Sex fades away, they were best friends, and they didn't even need to live together, so I see no reason why this marriage couldn't have worked. No need for kids, she didn't have any others after Terry anyway.

Anyway, sad about yet another person who was important to Doris passing away.

[howard]

Marty Melcher didn't intentionally place Dodo's money into bad investments. After all, it was both their fortunes at stake - he would have been an absolute fool to squander his share of the profits. Melcher was simply duped ... he took financial advice from the wrong man. That's been the latest consensus, and it make sense to me.

[doris-day-fan]

Isn't it strange that Doris can make the whole world happy with her music and movies, etc., and yet she apparently never had true happiness. As she stated awhile ago, all she wanted was a good husband, a nice home and children. I agree with you, she should have married Rock Hudson - they appeared to really love one another and that is what really counts. They seemed to have great chemistry both on and off screen.

Mary Anne

[anialek36]

Rock Hudson was gay, but I do think that his feelings for Doris was something more than friendship... Of course I could be wrong... Well, but when it comes to Doris it was definitely more than just friendship. Beautiful pair of them were

[Jas1]

I think marriage and Rock are/ were an absolute no no! The reason why Doris and Rock [probably] got along so well was because it was a friendship, and not what makes a marriage! As many people find out - unfortunately friendships are much more enduring that most marriages, the marriages that endure, and that are good, are vey special and very lucky!

Doris Day was a very sensual woman and by her own admission- good sex helped make a marriage (not exclusively) but it was an ingredient - and that would not have been on the agenda with Rock - much as we all adore him!