The Doris Day Forum

The Doris Day Web Forum - an unofficial forum for fans of Doris Day.
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The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by webmaster » 04 Jun 2019, 17:53

How is everyone feeling? I know we're all still a bit crushed about losing Doris but I wanted to talk about the future of the forum and I'm not sure there will ever be the right time even though it's been less than a month since she left us. I always said I would keep the forum going as long as Doris was with us and now that she is no longer here, that statement seems very relevant to me.

It's not that I don't care but I've found it quite demanding and time-consuming in recent years (15 years or so on here and 5 years before that with another web host). But I still love the daily experience of visiting it and seeing what people have to say and which photos Peter has found.

Often though it seems to be down to a small group of us to keep things going - even though the stats say 20 people are online. Perhaps that's the rub, it requires effort to keep it alive and I don't know if I personally have the energy to keep it going indefinitely.

So I wanted to open a dialogue with you and hear what you have to say. I feel that many of you have become close friends and I have a responsibility to you and don't want to leave you high and dry. Perhaps there is some compromise that I haven't thought about? Or perhaps you are feeling the same way as me?

Please let me know what you think and be as frank as you can. I'm open to suggestions.

Thanks,

Bryan
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by RobertOClare » 05 Jun 2019, 07:38

Hi Bryan,

As one of the newest members of the Forum, it feels totally wrong that I should be the first to reply to your post. However, I'm here now and I'd like to start by saying that anyone who has shown such dedication and given so many, many hours of their time deserves nothing less than the total admiration of all who have benefited from that time and dedication. I'm sure there are many others on here who can pay tribute to you far better than me, so I will leave it for them to do so.

Personally I'd hate to think of losing this amazing resource of information about Doris, and all the love that it contains. It's a big responsibility I know, but I really hope there is someone who has the time and the necessary skills to take on the running of the Forum. Failing that, is there a way it can remain as it is so that it can be referred to as required?

Bryan, I offer you my own heartfelt thanks and appreciation for all the years, and look forward to such suggestions as others may have about the future of this great Forum.

Best regards,

Robert
"If you haven't fallen in love with Doris Day, there's something wrong with your heart"

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by doris-day-fan » 05 Jun 2019, 11:07

Hi Bryan,
Thank you for ALL you do to keep this great forum going. I am sure it is a lot of work, but it is much appreciated for sure. Now, more than ever, I think it is important for us to keep in touch and keep Doris's legend alive. We all have much to offer to this great group.
I will let you know when our DORIS DAY TRIBUTE will be re-aired on www.mybnr.com This is all still so hard to believe, but I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU to you BRYAN for ALL you have done and are doing with THE DORIS DAY FORUM!!!!
Love,
Mary Anne
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by jmichael » 05 Jun 2019, 11:14

Bryan,

I've been a member since 2005 or thereabouts. The forum has always been a safe haven for fans to share their thoughts and feelings in an open, respectful way. You deserve all the credit for setting the tone here. You've lead the group with a steady hand without disrespecting anyone or shutting down dissent. You set expectations and people have treated each other the way they want to be treated. You possess rare qualities that have served you well in keeping the forum afloat and flourishing for a long time. Our numbers may be a lot smaller now, but we have a dedicated crew that makes this space unique, warm and inviting.

Yes, there are umpteen social media pages out there devoted to Doris Day but none of them approach the depth and breadth of what you've accomplished. It's very difficult to get into substantive discussions on social media, which is follower, sound bite and emoji driven. As someone who enjoys writing and expressing my thoughts, the forum has given me a wonderful platform to discuss topics beyond the surface stuff. I have also learned a lot from other forum members who've shared their perspectives.

Right now, I am leaning toward leaving the forum in the near future simply because I feel I've contributed all I can and have fallen into a pattern of repeating myself. I hate boring others and I hate boring myself even more. This may change or something may come along that will re-energize my juices, but right now, I am ready to move on. That is not to say that I won't miss you or the wonderful people who are still active, but I feel I have very little to contribute at this point.

I applaud you for being candid and for encouraging discussion. I hope other members will come forward with equal candor and let us know what they are thinking and feeling. This seems the best way to determine where we go from here.

Cheers,
Michael
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Peter Flapper » 05 Jun 2019, 12:30

Hi Bryan and all,

Thank you for all the great years of making this great Doris Day website a place to come home to. I visited the website frequently more than once a day… to see if people reacted and mostly I was pleasantly surprised by the things anyone shared. I know working on a website is taking much time and devotion (stress), and I applaud the fact that you've done this for so, so long... So I will understand your decision what ever it will be. !!!!BRYAN :wink: THANK YOU!!!!

And I'm still thrilled and humble to be a part of this wonderful group of people. We've had an have the most wonderful contributions and contributors on this website through the years. So many people who cared for Doris and her fans from around the world. It's an international devotion to one person and that's really something!!! I would love to name a few/lot... But I don't name them/you. I don't want let anyone out/forget anyone... And there are/were so many dear to me, who don't even are around anymore.

If you shut down the forum/website there will be a great loss of Doris Day data... Maybe we can think of a way to keep that online/available one way or another. I think it's a great place for research... But I'm only an amateur researcher... So who 'm I... I had the pleasure to fill this website with a lot of photo's/music/websites and sometimes nonsens... And it was a great joy to do so… (there are other places were I can bore others with it... :D

I will miss the contacts on here, but on another medium it must be possible to keep in touch. Would love to meet a lot of you... Maybe one Day, once…. Que Sera, Sera..

Hope this is an understandable written piece by me... So not, let me know...
Still find it difficult to express my feelings in English.

Take care,

Peter

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by webmaster » 05 Jun 2019, 15:35

Perfectly understandable, Peter. As are all the posts - and thanks for starting it off, Robert, and everyone who's posted. I'm listening to what people are saying and trying to keep an open mind. I'd like to hear from a few more people.

I'm not planning on shutting it down immediately but I don't think I have the emotional motivation (capacity?) to continue in the same way now that Doris is no longer here. Perhaps I still haven't come to terms with that fact.

I wouldn't be averse to hading it over if a group of you wanted to continue. Part of my problem with continuing is the 'responsibility', There are lots of 'behind the scenes' stuff that goes on, which can be very time consuming, maintenance, updating the software, screening new members from the spammers who try to join. Plus a financial cost, all of which could be managed with a bit of help from me but I'm not sure people would want to take that on.

Things could be simplified. You don't need to have new banners all the time. I could leave you with a fixed banner, perhaps "Remembering Doris Day"? I could still contribute as a member.

Or you could set up a Twitter account - excellent for uploading photos, although you'd have to be briefer in your posts! Or you could set up another board?

If we can't find a solution I'm hoping I can leave the forum as a reference.

Those are just some thoughts. Keep your comments coming.

Bryan
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by webmaster » 05 Jun 2019, 18:13

I just ser this up on Twitter as an example of what you can do and build on it. I've just done one tweet - you can see it leads to an article about her.

There are similarities in that one person can post a message and lots of others can reply. Will give you examples later - and it's very easy to upload photos and share YouTubes.

Remembering Doris Day
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by webmaster » 06 Jun 2019, 03:59

I've made some progress on this now: https://twitter.com/DayRemembering

How about if some of you - as many as possible - join Twitter https://twitter.com and head for Remembering Doris Day and click Follow, you will then be able to get involved.

At this stage, it doesn't have to be an alternative to the forum as we haven't made a decision on that yet (I would still like to hear from Howard, Jas, Ania, Johnny, Judy, Texas, Jill, Jake, Buttercup and anyone else who'd like to get involved.)

But let's give it a try - Twitter is fun and you can be creative with your own page, choosing your header photos, sharing stuff, You can use any name you like if you don't want to use your own.

Michael is on Twitter so we could both give you some tips if you need help but you should pick it up fairly quickly and it's fun to learn. There are also other Doris Day sites on there you can check out if you want to.

This is my regular site - all about Brexit, very boring if you're not into UK politics but it's an example of what you can do and how you can develop your Twitter account: https://twitter.com/bryanjamesUK
Follow Remembering Doris Day: https://twitter.com/DayRemembering

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by jmichael » 06 Jun 2019, 08:27

I just followed Remembering Doris Day on Twitter.

I am on Twitter but I mostly follow topics of interest and I rarely tweet. But this seems to be a fairly easy way to keep the gang together for any news that may break in the future. Peter and others who collect rare photos could post them here too, right?

Thanks Bryan.
Michael
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by webmaster » 06 Jun 2019, 09:35

Thanks, Michael, I've followed you back! :)

Peter, I've just uploaded one of your pics to show you how easy it is - although you might need to do one or two at a time. Have a look: https://twitter.com/DayRemembering

Still waiting on more comment/thoughts about the forum / Twitter
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Musiclover » 06 Jun 2019, 12:37

Bryan, this forum -- which you have so generously and brilliantly shepherded for such a long while -- became half of a morning routine for me, almost from the time I joined it 5+ years ago: Print out a crossword puzzle, and drop by to see what others have shared about Doris over the previous 24 hours.

As someone so lacking in technological skill, I appreciated the help (and patience!) you gave to me after you asked if I would lend a hand in doing some editing. More than that, though, my heartfelt thanks to you for giving me the opportunity to write at length about Doris's recording career. That was a really fun project, and it was a great pleasure to be able to offer a salute to her by doing it.

I will miss the forum if it goes away, but it seems that your idea for a twitter account will be a good successor. It will be interesting to see if the comments posted there are as civil and thoughtful as those that always appear on the forum. Thanks again, Bryan, for providing all of us a nice gathering place over the years!

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by jbeane » 06 Jun 2019, 17:02

Hi All,
I have to say that I agree with Michael, all but the part where he says he has no more to contribute. There is so much information that all of you have and I sure would not want to lose contact with any of you. You have become friends. I joined the forum in 2012 or 2013 I think and was lucky enough to go to Carmel in 2014 for her 90th (92nd). Michael was nice enough to introduce me to Lloyd Jessen and I had the opportunity to make some wonderful new friends as well as meet Doris.
I understand how much work you put in to this forum, Bryan, and I selfishly would hate to lose access. That being said, I fully understand and support whatever you decide. I have followed you on Twitter, and you Michael as well as your Tumbler Blog and hope to keep up with all of you that way. I am Jbeane on Twitter and on Tumbler.
It would be wonderful to archive all of this information as there are certainly many things that should not be lost or forgotten. I would be happy to help in any way that I could with that project. Also, as a thought, maybe we could do a quarterly group email just to keep in touch. Also maybe a Blog. I just hate to see all of this fall apart with her death, she was so much more to all of us that just a good singer, dancer, and movie star. Anyway that's how I feel.
My best to all of you,
Jill
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by jmichael » 07 Jun 2019, 07:24

Bryan,

It would be great to get someone like Jackie Joseph to follow Remembering Doris Day on Twitter. Not sure how you do that, but she does have a Twitter account. Ditto other former co-stars and friends like Betty White, Brian Nash, Kim Karath, Barbara Hershey, etc. It would give it more visibility going forward.

So far, so good though.

Michael
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Musiclover » 07 Jun 2019, 09:25

What a great idea, Michael!

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Jas1 » 07 Jun 2019, 15:15

I had to stop reading the posts- I will another time- I just cannot even contemplate this place not being here- and certainly I need this place so soon after Doris' death.

Oh and Michael - don't you dare go anywhere! Even if you were repeating yourself [which you aren't] you communicate so fabulously - i love reading your posts- as i do so many.

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by webmaster » 07 Jun 2019, 18:30

It's good to hear all you have to say, both the early posts and the ones after I last posted. I'm also very touched by some of the things you've said. Not about me but about what the forum means to you. Or to put it another way, what Doris means to you, as Jill says, "She was so much more to all of us that just a good singer, dancer, and movie star". :idea:
Judy said: Bryan, this forum... became half of a morning routine for me, almost from the time I joined it 5+ years ago: Print out a crossword puzzle and drop by to see what others have shared about Doris over the previous 24 hours.
Judy, I didn't know that, I thought you just popped in every now and then! I'm touched to hear that.
As someone so lacking in technological skill, I appreciated the help (and patience!) you gave to me after you asked if I would lend a hand in doing some editing. More than that, though, my heartfelt thanks to you for giving me the opportunity to write at length about Doris's recording career. That was a really fun project, and it was a great pleasure to be able to offer a salute to her by doing it.
You did a fantastic job of editing dorisday,net and it's us who thanks you for sharing your knowledge of Doris' recording career and beyond and doing it in a sensitive and gentle way
I will miss the forum if it goes away, but it seems that your idea for a twitter account will be a good successor. It will be interesting to see if the comments posted there are as civil and thoughtful as those that always appear on the forum. Thanks again, Bryan, for providing all of us a nice gathering place over the years!
That makes me feel sad, Judy, it's like saying goodbye. I'm not sure if Twitter will work for everyone, we can try but I don't want anyone to feel unhappy because of a decision I make. I'm willing to hang on in there until everyone is happy.
Jill said: "I understand how much work you put into this forum, Bryan, and I selfishly would hate to lose access. That being said, I fully understand and support whatever you decide. I have followed you on Twitter, and you Michael as well as your Tumbler Blog and hope to keep up with all of you that way. I am Jbeane on Twitter and on Tumbler.

It would be wonderful to archive all of this information as there are certainly many things that should not be lost or forgotten. I would be happy to help in any way that I could with that project. Also, as a thought, maybe we could do a quarterly group email just to keep in touch. Also maybe a Blog. I just hate to see all of this fall apart with her death, she was so much more to all of us that just a good singer, dancer, and movie star."
Thank you for that, Jill. It encourages me that people like yourself are getting involved and also the 'new blood' represented by Robert (makes me sound like Dracula!). Perhaps I'm just tired and emotional (sans Doris). If other people are willing to keep the ship afloat and allow me to step back for a while I could leave the forum running. I wasn't thinking of not keeping the site online. I like your idea of a blog or board. We should explore all avenues to keep this Doris Day group together,
Michael said: It would be great to get someone like Jackie Joseph to follow Remembering Doris Day on Twitter. Not sure how you do that, but she does have a Twitter account. Ditto other former co-stars and friends like Betty White, Brian Nash, Kim Karath, Barbara Hershey, etc. It would give it more visibility going forward.
Michael, I would rather build it up a bit before doing that, ie, getting forum members on there first. (You just go to someone's page and click follow or message them). I've reproduced Jackie's article already. I think it's helping me to move on a bit. I was wondering if you could help Judy to sign up?
Jas said: I had to stop reading the posts- I will another time- I just cannot even contemplate this place not being here- and certainly I need this place so soon after Doris' death.

Oh, and Michael - don't you dare go anywhere! Even if you were repeating yourself [which you aren't] you communicate so fabulously - I love reading your posts- as I do so many.
Don't worry, Jas, we're not going anywhere for now and I promise you that we won't until you're happy. I said the same thing to Michael privately that he could never be boring, as I'm sure everyone will agree.

Meanwhile, check out Remembering Doris Day every Day: https://twitter.com/DayRemembering as I'm trying to build it up and we could still use it - two homes are better than one! And contact me or Michael or Jill if you need help to set up a Twitter account.
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Jas1 » 08 Jun 2019, 12:47

Thanks Bryan.

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by texas gonzalo » 09 Jun 2019, 12:01

Bryan James a big Thank You for all the love you have poured into making The Doris Day Web Forum the gift that is there for all to share and enjoy. No doubt keeping the Forum going for such along time has required many hours and sacrifices on your part, and let me join the chorus of gratitude for what you have accomplished and shared with us. When I joined I was amazed at the wealth of information about Doris Day that had become the heart of the Forum. The information, data, memories and much more increased year by year and are now preserved in the Forum.
My hope is that the Forum will continued to exist in some form. Perhaps it can be modified to accommodate less topics, but we must preserve the more signficant portions to provide knowledge about the legacy Doris Day created. In a recent post Peter commented that his music and photo postings were meant to preserve Miss Day's legacy, so future generations could learn about her unpararraled talents. The world should never forget about the joy Doris Day left behind with her films, music and devotion to the welfare of animals.
So many of the forum members have shared their love for Doris with their individual postings. I could name names, but in doing so, I could miss some. But we all know who these individuals are. Each member posting shared their love and devotion to Doris Day and the Forum. Somehow we must preserve The Doris Day Legacy. Texas Gonzalo

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by howard » 09 Jun 2019, 12:19

Bryan, I can understand your feelings about the web site. I'm sure it takes an enormous amount of time and energy to keep it going. But I've gotta say, if seeing it were no longer a part of my daily regimen, it would leave a tremendous hole in my heart. Thanks to you and your hard work, this is, without a doubt, the most interesting, important web site about our girl on the internet. My goodness, the information provided here is priceless and it would be a sin if future fans or researchers could not benefit from the wealth of information here.That would be a crime. However, I'm so grateful to you, Bryan, for keeping it afloat all these many years. a big THANK YOU!
Like Irene Dunne done.

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Jas1 » 10 Jun 2019, 13:58

Well said Howard.

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by paul » 11 Jun 2019, 10:42

This Forum has been a source of endless joy throughout the years. I go back to the beginning days and may have even been part of a Forum that Bryan had prior to that.

In the "early days", before social media had really become dominant, coming here was like being part of a very special club or organization. We all seemed to have such great tidbits and stories to share and beforehand didn't have a place to turn to. Sure I could regale my friends with Doris Day stories and they were always very tolerant but on this Forum, people "got it!"

Many of us became friends. Even though I've never met Howard Green, I feel as though we've been connected via Doris Day forever. Michael Hadley even made a detour on a trip to the east coast and came to Concord, New Hampshire where we spent a couple of great days. He even guested on my radio program while here.

Beyond the wonderful bonds and connections that were formed, a plethora of information was shared. It was so gratifying to be able to share stories or background information about films with those who were eager to fill in all the blanks around Doris Day's amazing life and career. I was always of the feeling and I know others who share that belief, that it is pointless to keep information and facts and data to yourself, refusing to enable others to get a richer and more full picture. I remember several years ago providing detailed summaries of some of the Doris Day classes I have taught at a state college. The warm response from Forum members made me wish we could hold a convention during which I could share some of the class.

We became like a family and like any family, there were less than stellar moments. I was even the recipient of death threats for helping David Kaufman with his 2008 book! To be clear, David and I shared a mutual friend - Liz Smith. When Liz announced his forthcoming plan to write a book, I chatted with her about his credentials and found them to be very impressive. Liz provided contact information and I provided use of about a dozen of my scrapbooks that contained "industry data" - box-office information, background info about projects that never came to fruition, etc. I wanted his book to be an accurate reflection of her career. This didn't sit well with some and there was friction. I probably felt the worst for Bryan who tried to play Henry Kissinger at all times - diplomatic, fair and balanced - but also received flack.

It is what it is and for many years did not impact my joy in clicking on the Forum almost daily.

Bryan deserves a medal of valor for what he has given, what he has had to take from some, and for striving to make this a friendly and welcoming oasis where we can say what we feel without being judged.

Many ideas are being bandied about as to the future of the Forum in some form. In particular, I hope the personal connections can be maintained in some way, shape or form. I also hope that the information we shared with one another, can survive.

I recognize the reality that Bryan may need to change or evolve in light of Miss Day's recent passing. The thousands of hours, and no doubt dollars, that he has put into this Forum, unselfishly, has given us all an important component in our lives. Doris Day's passing touches each of us in varying ways and this would seem a time to look at new ways of maintaining our contacts, preserving the repository of information contained here, but ponder how best to do that.

I love reading the suggestions and ideas and will try to offer some of my own within the next few days. The fact that so many of us care what happens and recognize what Bryan has made possible, speaks volumes, not only for who we are, but for the lady who inspired our union.

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by Peter Flapper » 11 Jun 2019, 13:25

Hi Paul,

Always great to hear from you!

P

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by jbeane » 11 Jun 2019, 14:00

Hi Paul,
You have spoken for all of us I think in this beautifully written response. I hope we can figure out a way to stay connected and preserve all of this incredible information.
Thanks,
Jill
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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by texas gonzalo » 11 Jun 2019, 17:22

Hello Paul, it was very gratifying to hear from you once more. Personally I missed your postings and insights about everything Doris. Welcome back, Texas Gonzalo

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Re: The Doris Day Forum

Unread post by buttercup » 12 Jun 2019, 07:28

Oh my goodness. I would be crushed if the forum closed down! It is a twofold gem - a trove of data on Doris' legacy, and a wondeful, supportive place to connect with likeminded others over a subject of mutual admiration.

That is so, so special in today's world.

In hindsight, although I am a recent member of this forum, I do recall being a member of a previous Doris forum, around 2003. Perhaps that was the old version of this forum. I loved it then and love it now.

Bryan you are amazing and it is totally understandable that you need some reprieve from such responsibilities. I just hope that doesn't mean the only answer is to extinguish this important part of Doris' digital legacy just because she is no longer physically on earth.

Love and light to all.

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