Jas' cat has died

[webmaster]

Jas wrote:

I had to have my darling cat Laurie put to sleep last Friday [13th]!!! He was 15, has lived with me [and his brother 'Fon-Fon'] all his life. I loved how the current former King [father to the current Queen of England [etc] used to refer to himself, the Queen, and princesses Elizabeth and Margaret as 'us four'- that really hit home with me and I would often refer to 'us three' - me and my 2 guys - through thick and thin, no matter what else was going on!

I am in mourning, in shock, at times inconsolable and quite shocked at how hard this has hit me! Those who know me know though....! I can't discuss it and once again I think to Doris Day and I remember how even she fell apart [as she stated in her birthday radio show] when some of her 4 leggers passed away. That helps somehow; even someone with Doris' strength and the many she has lost,doesn't make it any easier! Usually in my life when tragedy strikes, I deal with it by getting away, being in a crowd etc but this time I cannot as I have to consider my other cat and how he is without his brother! He too is 15 and I am sick with worry every time I feed him that he will not eat and start to drink too much [Laurie died of kidney disease]! I know 15 is a good age for a cat but that is little consolation and I just have to try and make the rest of my time with Fon-Fon the best!

[webmaster]

Poor Jas

My cat, Korky, died when he was 12 in 2000 (1/12/2000 , I still remember the date) - I felt as if I'd lost a little brother. I cried and kept this oil lamp burning on his grave in the garden for a month. It was on during the night as well and I used to look out the window at it. I felt I had to keep it burning for the whole month for some reason.

It takes a long time to get over it but you do eventually - but you never forget.

Bryan

[John M]

Jas, I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and Fon-Fon are in my thoughts and prayers at this very sad time. But I truly believe that Laurie will always be with you in a way, and will be watching over you, like a guardian angel.

[Theodomus]

I am very sorry, Jas.

I got this poem after my little dog died of distemper - I cried while reading it but it is wonderful and helped me a lot.


If it should be

If it should be that I grow sick and weak
And this should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this, the last battle, can't be won

You will all be sad, I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer so
When the time comes let me go.

I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness that you do to me
Though my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Dont't grieve that it should be you
Who has to decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years
don't let your heart hold any tears.

(Vale)

.........................

A wonderful video of the Rainbow Bridge
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

[Pam]

Oh dear Jas, I am so very sorry about the loss of your dear
sweet Laurie. Please know that you are in my heart and
thoughts, and that we are here for you~



Pam

[webmaster]

Another thought I had, Jas, was that after that experience, if someone talked about 'loosing someone' I used to say "I know how you feel, my cat died, etc...." My other half used to tell me off after and say "You can't say that! You can't compare an animal to a human!"

I mean I didn't put it as crudely as it sounds, but to me it was a loss of similar proportions. Almost more because you are the parent and your child has died. People might not understand it if they haven't experienced it but I was very grateful that when I cried when Korky died, my friend just cuddled me and let me cry and didn't say, "You're a grown man, pull yourself together."


Korky, sitting in a box of documents I had to go through.
He often sat on top of my computer! (They were bigger in the mid-90s.)

[dorisdayicon]

My sympathies, Jas. I can imagine you are very sad. I know how close one can get to a pet. They become our family. My dear dog , Murphy, died over a year ago and I still have his ashes at home. I miss him as you miss Laurie.
Velda

[Jas1]

Thank you one and all for your thoughts and prayers and messages; it means a lot [here on the forum and privately too].

What a wonderful poem Marion, it says so much doesn't it?

Bryan, I agree wholeheartedly with what you have said, to me it really is like losing a child. I have always felt that an ill animal is similar to an ill child, so completely dependant and they can't tell you exactly what is wrong. I have asked those close to me not to discuss it but i have received some wonderfully heartfelt messages, e-mails, texts etc and my dearest friend [who has 4 big dogs] is going to bury Laurie's ashes on her land underneath an apple tree and we can have a kind of service [when I am ready]. Even people who are not animal lovers have touched me. One of my oldest and dearest friends who really became an animal lover through me [he now has a dog] - was with me at the vets and he sobbed his heart out too for he knew Laurie all those years and often came in to look after the boys when I was away. Only very few people have disappointed me, my sister for one. She was due to visit me this Saturday and sent a text to confirm. I replied by text saying I had to cancel as Laurie had died and she hasn't even acknowledged it. I know she is not a great animal lover but she knows what my cats have meant to me; - oh well, some people, eh?

Of course I have the guilt of having to get Laurie put to sleep and of choosing a sadistic vet who made the situation all the worse. When I get myself together I intend to complain about the vet for his handling of the whole situation was off hand, cruel and insensitive and he employed antiquated methods and it took about 25 minutes for poor Laurie to die. I stroked him though the whole time and talked to him and he purred and I know he was not in pain.

Anyhow guys, thanks again, your thoughts really do mean so much.

Jas

[suzie]

jas ,I wish you the very best,I am so very sorry, wish there was something I could do to make it all better for you.
Please know we all are thinking of you and you are in my prayers.

[Debbi Austen]

Jas, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You know you are like family to us, and you don't want your love ones to have to go through this. I hope you will soon find comfort.

[Dianne]

Dear Jas,
I too am very sorry for your loss. Grief is the beginning of the healing process -- remember that!! You will emerge once again from your despair. Pets are part of the family and every bit just as important as the human members. If you think about it, your 15 years with Laurie was probably more time than you spent with a human family member over a life time. I say this because she was with you day-in and day-out over the last 15 years.

I made you a youtube.



Diane T

[webmaster]

That is so sad. But beautiful.

I'll bet you've got Jas in tears - you almost got me - but it's good to let those feeling out and it affirms your love.
I read somewhere that these experiences leave an emotional memory - almost in your DNA. They become a real part of you and helps you to define who you are, in your deeper self. Mostly we go from year to year and very little of it makes an impact. I find it hard to remember how I spent the Christmas before last. I was having lunch with a friend today and he mentioned a weekend we all went to stay at a house by the sea 'about 5 years ago' - it was actually closer to 13 years ago and he was a bit shocked when he realised how long it had been.

But you'll reach a point where you'll think 'OK, I've grieved enough' - you can't change it so you have to accept it. Life goes on syndrome. You might decide to take a stray in and give it a home - it would help the other cat who's probably feeling lonely too and might improve it's health. Have you got that far yet? I know I was very reluctant to contemplate that as I felt it was 'disloyal' to the cat I'd lost. But you don't have to see it that way - you are not going to forget your cat anyway - I might just help the recovery process for 'the ones left behind' and you'd be helping an animal who has no home.

But you've probably worked all that out already....

[suzie]

There are so many little cats out there who are in desperate need of a home.Im like doris id have them all live with me if I could. We love you jas , and it really does get a little easier as time goes by.Thank God for our precious memories.

[Sheila]

Oh Jas so sorry about your cat, I understand completely how you are feeling. We had to have Elvis our Greyhound, put to sleep on 25th May, his back legs went and due to his age, the vet could not do anything to help him. I still can't believe it! It just feels so odd without him, we had him for so many years.

[Jas1]

Thank you one and all, so very much appreciated.

And Diane; that was so special and kind of you to take the time to do that, words cannot thank you enough.

Each day is getting easier, that I can see, thanks agains all of you.

Jas
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